Words That Cause Destruction!

" But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God; from the same mouth come both blessings and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way. Does a fountain send out from the same opening both fresh and bitter water? Can a fig tree, my brethren, produce olives, or a vine produce figs? Nor can salt water produce fresh."

James 3:8-12

 Today my heart hurts for people who have been damaged by other's tongues. Tongues are so very powerful and so easily speak words that we can never be taken back.We use words to encourage others, we use words to teach others, we use words to love others and sometimes we use words to damage others. Words are easily said and impossible to take back.

 I want to share part of a  personal story with you. Not so long ago I had a very good friend. We shared a lot of life together. We encouraged each other spiritually. We laughed together. We ate together. We were thankful for each other. Then things changed and hurt came. Words were said that ruined what we had.

 Psalm 41:9 says, "Even my close friend in whom I trusted, who ate my bread, has lifted up his heel against me." Boy, do I ever relate to this verse! These words that were said didn't just destroy our friendship, they also destroyed me. I spent many weeks crying to God asking Him if this was true of me. Asking Him to change me. What I didn't realize had happened was that I had put more faith in what this person thought of me than what God really thought of me.

 Psalm 41:10 says, "But you, O Lord, be gracious to me and raise me up!" At this point in the relationship only God can lift me up.The words had been said, the damage has been done and there is no taking it back.
We can ask for forgiveness and we can forgive, but the hurt is still there and sometimes we still distrust. There is no easy fix, it takes time and it takes work to keep moving through it. Maybe over time it becomes less hurtful and maybe even overtime it can be forgotten, but it takes work. I so often feel like those who cause the damage think that a few nice words fix the problem, they don't. It takes time and it takes work. It takes more than just a few nice words, it takes a lot of nice words and a lot of effort to rebuild what was destroyed so quickly.

 Psalm 41:11,12 says, " By this I know that You are pleased with me , because my enemy does not shout in triumph over me. As for me, You uphold me in my integrity, and you set me in Your presence forever." 
 I am far from perfect and I am not so proud to admit that I have not hurt others with my words. I know I have. I know I am just as guilty as the next person. I simply share part of this story with you so that you can stop and think about what you choose to say before you say it and think of the impact those word might have on the other person. Words that you say in anger can never be taken back and it might take a lifetime to rebuild what you destroy in only a moment. Trust me there is no judgement from me, there is only hurt. There is only One who can heal the hurt and there is only One who can help me to move on and trust again!