A Mother's Heart!

 Tonight I want to just sit and cry. I am feeling, oh so very, sentimental. My children will be 4 and 6 in June, time flies. I have two friends who just had babies in the last couple of weeks. One was born ten weeks early, weighing in at 1lb. 11oz. A miracle he truly is. I saw him for the first time today. His hands are so tiny, about the size of a dime. His little eyes are just slits when he opens them. His mouth is the tiniest thing I have ever seen. So amazing to see him! So amazing to see how God has perfectly formed him! How precious his little life is!
 My other friend, whose baby will be two weeks old tomorrow, just found out yesterday that her little girl has down syndrome. Life changing for sure! My heart breaks for my friend. Some say that God doesn't give us more than we can handle, I do not agree. I believe that He gives us more than we can handle so that we will go to Him for help. He is the only one who can handle anything!
 So tonight as I put my kids to bed, I thought how simple my life is. I have two children who came into this world with barely any complications. We live a very healthy life. We love each other. We are warm and well fed. As I tucked my little prince and my little princess into bed tonight I thought to myself how fast it is all going by. I quite often say to them, " can I keep you forever?" They always say yes! I know that this is not true though. I know that someday they will grow up and make lives of their own, but for tonight we can pretend that we will always be together!!!

Words That Cause Destruction!

" But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God; from the same mouth come both blessings and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way. Does a fountain send out from the same opening both fresh and bitter water? Can a fig tree, my brethren, produce olives, or a vine produce figs? Nor can salt water produce fresh."

James 3:8-12

 Today my heart hurts for people who have been damaged by other's tongues. Tongues are so very powerful and so easily speak words that we can never be taken back.We use words to encourage others, we use words to teach others, we use words to love others and sometimes we use words to damage others. Words are easily said and impossible to take back.

 I want to share part of a  personal story with you. Not so long ago I had a very good friend. We shared a lot of life together. We encouraged each other spiritually. We laughed together. We ate together. We were thankful for each other. Then things changed and hurt came. Words were said that ruined what we had.

 Psalm 41:9 says, "Even my close friend in whom I trusted, who ate my bread, has lifted up his heel against me." Boy, do I ever relate to this verse! These words that were said didn't just destroy our friendship, they also destroyed me. I spent many weeks crying to God asking Him if this was true of me. Asking Him to change me. What I didn't realize had happened was that I had put more faith in what this person thought of me than what God really thought of me.

 Psalm 41:10 says, "But you, O Lord, be gracious to me and raise me up!" At this point in the relationship only God can lift me up.The words had been said, the damage has been done and there is no taking it back.
We can ask for forgiveness and we can forgive, but the hurt is still there and sometimes we still distrust. There is no easy fix, it takes time and it takes work to keep moving through it. Maybe over time it becomes less hurtful and maybe even overtime it can be forgotten, but it takes work. I so often feel like those who cause the damage think that a few nice words fix the problem, they don't. It takes time and it takes work. It takes more than just a few nice words, it takes a lot of nice words and a lot of effort to rebuild what was destroyed so quickly.

 Psalm 41:11,12 says, " By this I know that You are pleased with me , because my enemy does not shout in triumph over me. As for me, You uphold me in my integrity, and you set me in Your presence forever." 
 I am far from perfect and I am not so proud to admit that I have not hurt others with my words. I know I have. I know I am just as guilty as the next person. I simply share part of this story with you so that you can stop and think about what you choose to say before you say it and think of the impact those word might have on the other person. Words that you say in anger can never be taken back and it might take a lifetime to rebuild what you destroy in only a moment. Trust me there is no judgement from me, there is only hurt. There is only One who can heal the hurt and there is only One who can help me to move on and trust again!

The Commander of the Storm!

 I seem to have fallen behind in my Bible reading, I am attempting to read through the Bible in a year. I say attempting because I have tried and tried and tried before and have never had success. So here I am trying again!  The last few weeks have been busy with wedding plans for my brother's wedding, a conference that I cook for and help my husband put on for children's workers in the central Maine area, and I also came down with the flu. So because of all of those things I just have not been able to keep up with all my reading, so today I am trying to do some catch up.
 Today as I was reading I was asking God to speak to me, to give me new clarity, to teach me, to draw me closer to Himself! I was reading Mark 3-6, specifically today. It was at the end of Mark 6 that God spoke to me. Verses 45-52, tell the story of how Jesus had sent His disciples out on a boat, while He went up on the mountain to pray.  Evening came and the disciples were out in the middle of the sea and Jesus it says," was alone on the land." Jesus watches them and sees that they are struggling with the oars because the wind is against them. So Jesus decides He will test their faith and He walks out on the water with the wind against Him and stands on the water by the boat. The disciples saw Him and they thought He was a ghost and they were terrified. Immediately, Jesus spoke to them  and said," Take courage, it is I, do not be afraid." Then He got into the boat with them and the wind stopped and they were astonished.
 What is even more significant about this story is that early the same day Jesus' had multiplied five loaves of bread and two fish to feed  thousands of people. I mean how many people do you know who can do that? Only God could do that! Here they were several hours later astonished that Jesus could walk on water and stand there in front of them. Verse 52 says," they had not gained any insight from the incident of the loaves, but their heart was hardened." It seems sad to me that their hearts were hardened. I mean these were the men that had been following Him for awhile now, they had witnessed other miracles and yet they had forgotten what Jesus could do.
 Two things I take away from this. One how easily I forget what Jesus is capable of doing. I forget what He has brought me through and I forget to notice Him at work in my everyday life. I so easily get caught up in the everyday life, that I do not always see the miracles around me!
 The second thing that I take away from this is when the storms of life come, and they sure do come, I forget that Jesus is right there. The storm is blowing all around me and I wonder "where are you Jesus?" And all the time He is right there and when He speaks to me and I see Him, the storm seems to settle. Maybe it is still blowing around on the outside, but on the inside there is peace. There is peace because He is there! Because    Jesus commands the storm and there is no safer place to be in the middle of a storm then with the One who is controlling it!