It has been four months since I have had time to sit and write a blog post. Even now I feel rushed to write something before I move on to the next thing. I look forward to the Fall and the slowing down of life! My summer months consisted of having a yard sale, getting ready for camp, being part of my big brother's wedding, babysitting, and of course entertaining my two kids. We had lots of fun at swim lessons each week, going to beaches with friends, being a small part of River of Life Bible Camp, and enjoyed two weeks of day camp right next door to where we live.It was a crazy, busy, hard, and yet wonderful summer. Along with all the fun, there were trials that at points seemed unbearable. And at times all I could do was cry and ask Jesus to comfort me.
At one point I wrote the following in my journal, " O Lord, my God! My heart is overwhelmed, my mind is exhausted, my emotions are fried! I need to runaway and hide. I am living in my own strength, I need You. I am so weak and frail! Give me wisdom, give me patience, and above all love and gentleness!"
Do you ever have those times in your life that you know you are living in your own strength? I do! I have days that are overwhelming. I have days that things are asked of me that I know I don't have the strength to do. I have days that I just want to runaway and start over somewhere else, because the circumstances of that day are to much to bear.
Another time this summer I wrote, " I feel like my heart is dying." I later said to a friend, "all I can do is trust God with my heart!" Have you ever had those days when the hurt and the pain are more than you can bear? I do! Sometimes the things God allows in our lives hurt really bad.
I love how David all throughout the Psalms cries out to God during his trials of life. While Saul is seeking to kill him, he looks to God. When his wives are taken captive, he looks to God. When the enemy is bearing down hard on him, he looks to God. What is so awesome about David looking to God, is that God always comes through. God always gives wisdom. God always brings comfort. God always brings peace. God always gives the ability to love and be gentle.
So I can say that this summer was a lot of fun, but I can also say it was really hard. But the most amazing thing about my summer was that when it was really hard and I looked to Jesus, He gave me peace like never before and He gave me a calmness to walk through what He was asking me to do! This is no pat on the back for me, this is all praise and glory to Jesus, because without him I would have runaway and started over somewhere else!
I am not an introvert but understand many of those feelings you have gone through this summer. Maybe different circumstances but same feelings. Wanting to run and hide. But in the end knowing reaching out to my Lord was the right answere even if I didn't get the answere that I wanted. God always knows best and some times it takes a lot to just trust him through it. Thank you Jesus for loving me and helping me to grow close to you....Thank you for your post Alecia.
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